Running....

I have not felt like running lately.  Mainly because I had a great goal I told my self I would be doing this year my first big race.  It was going to be the Charleston bridge run.  And with everything that happened this year and last year I did not sign up for it.  And it will be the 2 of April and I found my self sadder and sadder and less and less want to run because I am starting to feel why should I keep going there is no point anymore.  I will never get anywhere anyway.  This was my before my next birthday goal. Like every other thing in my life I blow up.  I give up on my self what's the point anyway.  God seems to not even bother trying to help or protect me anyways why sure I care to do things for me really.  Every time a try god seems to do everything in his power to throw down and f-up my life so I have in hope.  I feel like a bug on the shoe of God.