Last night was late hard for me.... Thanks to my A.D.D. and things I end up doing because of it in trying to "just get it done" because it is a crap I got to stop this things I am doing and this other things has to get gone today and everything takes me 10x longer that other a "normal person" because of the my attention span is so short in the first place than if I take it in longer it does not make in(my head) and I have to double check everything I do and take longer to do so.
And with that said now: The hard part is that my husband who is my world and awesome! He is not an A.D.D. and does not ever get it or I can't find the words to get it out to tell him what the issue is at the time one part of it is he is a over thinker and over explainer like I am at times and for me if it I can't get it out at the moment it is gone because I am off to the next little tiny part of the fussing he is doing. He calls it talking (what ever) when he is high energized upset man voice that some men get and will not stop to let me get out what I need to and tells me NO!!!! I am talking let me get out what I am saying FIRST yelling(I am pretty sure he has no idea he sounds angry from the very start of these times he needs to talk about important things) and I ether stop listening, get mad, tearing up(not really meaning too it is one of way the I react to angry and hurt for some reason when I feeling something to the point I am about to blow my top and don't want too do so and trying to stay clam), start counting and so on trying to do two things one reminder 100 points to respond to him about the 100,000,000,000,000 points he is over explaining(he does have issues getting things out right too I will say this too and I do know this as well) and still listen to him as he is still going on about too which same idea and not different or new idea of what he is trying to get out he is saying the something with different works that many times. And then after all that I get mad when the house of cards my mind is most days falls and I get mad and yell at his and fuss at him for something my mind may have remembered being part of what he say.... And then he fusses at me about that and going down the road you are an adult and so on I should be able to talk to you about things that are important... We he is right but night is the worst time for me to "talk" about this the A.D.D. is at it's worst then and I have stop drinking anythings with caffein and other things that keep me mind alert so I can get sleepy. I have realized it is a better like what doctors call sundowning like an alzheimer's person thank goodness it is not as bad as that but I brain is very gone at the end of the day and if I endup looking for something I just walk around and can't think thru where i put things!
All in all I think... Night time is a very bad time to "talk" for me...
Friday, May 3, 2013
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