Sunday, August 10, 2014

Life as it aways is has been crazy!

Every since school got out my kids have been bugging the crap out of one another to drive the other one nuts…  At ages 11 and 7 they are both hard headed so it makes life nuts here for me!  So the summer has not gone as I was hoping it would and plan it too so I am restless needles to say!


I have been waking up at 3:00am and working out by 4am to 6am before my husband leaves for work.  I run about 1 to 3 miles a day for 5 days a week and work on different muscle groups everyday with weights and I feel good..  But about 8am I find my self  SO SO sleepy and when I fall asleep it does throw my day off a bit!


And on top of things I found out that my pawpaw(grandfather) had a massive heart attack on Facebook(on my cousins page) at 4am one morning and that no one know if he would make it through the night….   I did not know anything more until my mom called me at 9am and told me she was so sorry for not calling me sooner and that she did not want to wake me last night.   He did make it through the night but he was without air for 11minutes...  The doctors found his heart is 95% blocked and they can't help him his lungs have fluid on them and he is in a lot of pain.  Long story short he was sent to his nursing home to die and they give him around a month to live.  And the bad part of the whole thing is I live 3 states away….


Plus I got a new to me car and it needs a radiate system and that will be $650 dollars I don't really have.  I did sell my nikon D7000 and lens for the trip for the funeral and right now we don't know if and or when and I am so scared if use the money for the car that is when things will happen if you know what I mean!  :(  Life is always like this for me and it sucks most of the time.  Thank goodness for my awesome husband who keeps me grounded when I get to the place of "chicken little the sky is felling" and he makes things alright again and I am so thankful for this too!


My mom is sick too…  Nothing big thankfully!  My father inlaw is ill as well no one know what is going on with him doctors have be idea..   My best friends mom who is like a mom to me is fighting breast cancer and she is living with my mom and father inlaw because they BFF's.


Then my middle brother inlaw calls us threatening us over not calling one of his kids and say happy birthday and we told his we called him more than 3 times (and we had proof too) he did not pick up the phone and this when went on for 4 hours calling and texting very mean and bad things to us and he was not stopping all over his own stupidness.  He him self was in jail and done more things to those kids than anyone ever has they have seen him do drugs, hit there mom and her hit him back, both go to jail, he threatening them and there mom to kill them all when he was on VERY HIGH ON drugs sitting in front of the front door with a BIG kitchen knife and cops had to come remove him and countless of big things I know he has done to them and others.  Long story short he is an a$$hole all the way around and the problem is everyone else if you ask him.  I am thinking great just what I need..  A$$hole!!

And we find out my hubbies uncle's cancer is back and that it is going to be a lot of heavy treatment and a big surgery…

And very good friend of mine her husband has had cancer for a few years now and have had a hard road with it and been fighting so hard and it is started to look like he is body is getting tired and she found out she had breast cancer as well…  It looks like for now she has won and cancer lost!

This has been my summer so far…  And now my husband has been talking about how much he can't stay at his job and how much that place hates his soul and making him bitter and hate people..  He wants to just walk out…

Then I find out a friend of mine had a small stroke and he is only 39 thankfully he is ok from what he told me.

Me being who I am I FEEL all of this stuff in my heart all at the same time and trying to keep happy and be a good mother to my 11year old and my 7 year old kiddos is hard somedays…  Some days it is all I can do to just not cry and that is it and be happy for my kids and husband…    I feel like everyone I know and care about is sick and worse..  

I have no idea what to do things are in a when it rains it pours time and I am feeling crazy… Thank goodness for working out and running at least slows my mind down and I get a release a bit!