In this journey I have been finding that I am falling in love with knife making and blacksmithing. I find my self dreaming of knife making and my brain is full of 1000's of idea of things I would love to make and learn to make.
But sadly after the reality of money and so on and the fact hubby is starting to think if something does not change soon he will have to give up knives making him self he said... And all I can think is when I finely find my thing in life that it slips away from me and I will never get to do it.
This is how my life seems to go I feel I am not meant to get to do what anything I want to or love in life. Hubby would give to the world if I ask so that is not the issue here it is more like life makes sure I can't for what ever reason like is like something out there has a ax to grid with me and or hates me for what ever reason.
I pray to God for help and things to workout and it always go the other way and I even prayed once that if there is a God and he really cares about me this said thing will turn out good and in a good way for me and my family and the worst thing happened instead.. so that was the day I learned there is no God and something out there just hates me and wants me to not have the things I want or need in life.
The only thing I am thankful for in all of this is I have my awesome hubby and kids thanks for that at least.
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